“The Wonderful Art of Kissing”

According to Desmond Morris, in a survey of numerous women, they all pointed to the lips as the main erogenous zone of their bodies (and they were not referring to the vaginal ones). They didn’t ask me, but if they had, I would have said something similar.

While there are other more nerve-rich zones in a woman’s body than the lips, such as the clitoris, kissing brings great pleasure. In fact, Kinsey’s famous studies on sexuality revealed that women can achieve orgasm solely through a long and deep kissing session.

For Freud, kisses had a certain negative connotation (understandable for someone who suffered from palate cancer). However, for other scholars of human psychology, it is positive but nuanced: a kiss would be a symbolic penetration for women, just as for men, as their tongue would be an extension of their phallus. Perhaps that’s why it can be humiliating for a woman to have someone thrust their tongue down her throat without permission, and for a man, it can be maddening to feel his tongue sucked as if it were a phallus.

Kissing holds a special place in major love manuals like the Kamasutra, but it is increasingly practiced less as a sexual/sensual act itself and more as a prelude to intercourse. That’s why I’m amazed to read that an important study on the subject reveals that around 68% of men consider themselves good kissers compared to 56% of women.

How to Kiss

The key to kissing well is genuinely wanting to kiss the other person. When you want to kiss and enjoy their lips, tongue, taste, and breath, no manuals, techniques, or advice matter. When that happens, like any other loving practice between two people, you listen to their body, feel their vibrations, and respond to them; just as they do the same with you. You know when and how to squeeze, bite, lick, and smother.

However, there are some basic rules to make kisses right, especially the French kiss. It is the most intimate and overwhelming kiss: heads tilt, mouths open, come together, and play with tongues and lips.

The key is the balance between observing the other person, applying what you’ve learned, and letting yourself go. Above all, take a deep breath and relax. Don’t mentally go over the manuals thinking about the next step; keep them in mind but let yourself be guided by your instinct and the other person’s reactions. The French kiss is very intimate as you feel that you are, in a way, inside the other person. Act accordingly.

If you want to feel the kiss in all its intensity, close your eyes and let yourself be carried away by the sensations. However, it’s also exciting to open them occasionally to observe the other person’s face of bliss and desire, especially in front-facing kisses and those involving tongue play.

Combine all possible techniques to make the kiss pleasurable: kiss gently at the corner of the lips, with devouring passion; nibble on one, the other, both; lick, suck, kiss; feel their breath… pause, look into their eyes, observe their reactions, don’t do anything: let them take the next step.

Don’t just kiss on the lips: kiss their face, hair, neck, and caress their body. Enjoy the sensuality of the moment. Whisper, cuddle, soothe. Perhaps you’ll reach a point of no return where you can’t resist becoming wilder in kisses, caresses, and bites, letting yourself go while touching the rest of the body and having penetrative sex. It’s okay, but try to prolong the moment as much as possible so that kissing is not just a prelude but a sexual act in itself. Don’t you think it would be amazing to make her climax just with your kisses?

Points to Consider to Avoid Ruining It

Keep your lips moistened, but don’t swim in a sea of saliva. Bite but don’t tear a piece off. Use your tongue but not like a missile. Kiss for as long as you want, but be aware that the other person may be trying to break free like the Looney Tunes skunk trying to escape the cat: in summary, balance between technique, letting go, and observing the other.

Diseases: You are not exempt from contracting diseases such as herpes, cytomegalovirus, gingivitis, mononucleosis, Hepatitis B (though exceptionally), streptococcal infection, and human papillomavirus. According to The American Social Health Association, you can also contract gonorrhea and syphilis: keep this in mind.

Breath: In a moment of sexual frenzy where you devour each other, you might not care if their breath tastes like tobacco, alcohol, dogs, or forest fruits. However, if you’re going to enjoy a slow session of kissing, opening all their senses to their body, you must take care of your breath. If you have halitosis problems, brushing your teeth alone won’t be enough: get used to chewing fresh mint or parsley, the effect lasts longer.

Types of Mouth Kisses

We live in a society that tends to label everything; something that doesn’t quite convince me because a label implies a more or less broad definition; and that definition traps, boxes in, and leads to negative consequences. What about things that don’t fit into any definition? Or that are a mix of several? Or a variant of one of them?

I’m reminded of musical genres with that annoying habit of labeling a group that ends up being in a musical genre longer than the list of their songs. However, here’s the “official list” of kisses in the West, based on whether they involve the tongue or lips.

Morse Kiss: a variant of the French kiss, involves tapping on the other’s tongue (usually at the tip); you should do it gently, not as if you were sending an S.O.S. against the enemy army. It can be fun and tender if there’s a certain complicity with the other.

Wet Kiss: involves bringing the mouths together and gently caressing the other’s mouth and tongue with the lips until they become moist, but without overdoing it, as it can be unpleasant.

Lizard Kiss: involves quickly moving the tongue inside the other’s mouth. If done skillfully, these quick touches can be very enticing as many points of the tongue are stimulated, sensitizing it, and you’ll end up hyper-sensitizing it. It’s better to just brush the tips as it can be unpleasant if you put it in entirely.

Spiderman Kiss: a kiss inspired by the scene in the movie Spiderman (2002) when he hangs upside down on the web, and she kisses him upside down. Fortunately, you don’t have to hang upside down from a scaffold or have arachnid powers, just turn around and kiss with the upper lip on the other’s lower lip and vice versa. They may call it the Spiderman kiss, but to me, it seems like the kiss after a 69 that has been happening forever.

Lip Gloss Kiss: moisten your lips with fruity-flavored lip gloss and rub them on the other’s lips until they moisten. Make sure they like that flavor as some may be bothered by the artificial aftertaste, no matter how much they claim it tastes like freshly picked strawberries.If you want to excite them, you can moisten your lips or theirs with ice, cream, alcohol, or something tempting to lick.

Breath Kiss: open your lips, bring them close to the other’s, and exchange breaths. I’ve read that it should be done as if performing the CPR maneuver, but I believe the softer, the better. It’s not about blowing as if you wanted to inflate a lifebuoy. A very sensual variant is to barely touch your lips, gently rubbing them to feel the other’s increasingly excited breath.

Bite Kiss: a French kiss variation, play with their tongue and nibble it very gently. If done with the right pressure, especially at the tip, the other will feel waves of pleasure.

Lip Biting Kiss: as many varieties as lovers: nibble, lick, suck, and savor the other’s lips. Lips are very sensitive, and if done with the right pressure, it’s very pleasurable as a wave of pleasure can be felt throughout the spine. An “official” variation of lip-biting kisses is the “single-lip kiss,” which, as the name suggests, involves taking one of the lips between yours and playing with it, whether by pulling, licking, or gently biting.

Types of Mouth Kisses According to the Kamasutra

According to Vatsyayana, lovers can prolong kisses and caresses as much as they desire, combining them to make them more exciting and enjoyable. He classifies kisses based on body parts, gender, moments in which they occur, and the intention behind them. Since this article is dedicated to mouth kisses, I’ll only include these. Some are truly interesting and can add a lot of fun: forget about the Spiderman kiss.

The maiden has three types of mouth kisses: the nominal kiss, when she only touches her lover’s mouth very softly; the throbbing kiss, when she presses a bit, overcoming her shyness, and almost imperceptibly opens the lower lip; the touching kiss, when she opens her lips, touches the man’s lips with her tongue, closes her eyes, and places her hands on his.

Other authors consider there are five types of kisses: the direct kiss, when they kiss face to face without tilting their heads; the tilted kiss, when they turn their heads; the turned kiss, when one of them holds the other’s chin with their fingers; the pressured kiss, when the lower lip is pressed forcefully; the highly pressured kiss, in which the man takes the woman’s lower lip with his fingers, touches it with his tongue, and then forcefully presses his lips against the others.

There are also: the upper lip kiss, in which the man kisses the woman’s upper lip and she kisses his lower lip; the grip kiss, which involves catching the other’s lips entirely with the mouth; the tongue battle kiss, which, despite its name, involves touching the other’s teeth, tongue, and palate with the tongue; and, finally, a variety of this, where the teeth are pressed (without biting) against the other’s lips.

Besame Mucho – Cesaria Evora