I’ll tell you something that might surprise you: 

Every healthy couple needs to argue. 

Arguing is not a problem in itself. Having differences or even experiencing anger are not a problem in the couple, they are an opportunity to grow, to love each other in a more real way as time goes by. 

The problem in couples has more to do with the way they argue, than with the fact of doing it.

When we expose ourselves to sharing our life with someone, we also expose ourselves to a large number of events that are difficult to manage: infidelity, jealousy, lack of effective communication, aggressiveness, sexual problems, mistrust, or different life perspectives.

Normally, when a couple tries to seek help, they receive many opinions, messages loaded with personal judgments from people who love them but who do not live within their relationship, and therefore cannot fully understand what is happening. 

Why is it important to rely on a professional?
A couple psychologist is trained to be able to accompany each couple in a totally personal way. She knows how to stay out of opinions and be the unconditional, external and objective support that the couple needs to analyze themselves more clearly.

He is able to break vicious cycles, work on aggressive language, and solve communication difficulties. 

I don’t know why, but when it comes to a broken engine, no one doubts having a mechanic. It’s almost inevitable. In American movies, the father of a family who wants to be a plumber to save a few dollars is always ridiculed and in the end ends up with water up to his ears. 

The answer is simple: We are not born knowing how to manage our partners. We must learn and yet each new couple is different and brings us new challenges for which we have no answers. And it’s normal to need a professional to help us understand each other.

The problem is that all our lives we are invited to self-manage. To know how to control ourselves and keep ourselves stable. But if you notice, we haven’t been taught to do that at any point!

In my head it sounds as absurd as if someone expected me to know how to fix my car without touching a mechanics book… I don’t even try, and if I tried I would get frustrated and waste a lot of time in vain before calling a professional. It may even have broken my engine even more. 

Your engine is the mind that comes without instructions from birth. It’s totally normal to have someone who already knows how it works and can make things much easier and more enjoyable for you.