We’ve all had our hearts broken at some point in our lives. However, many do not know how to heal it properly. That is why, here are some tips that will help you cure it.

 

Everyone has had to heal a broken heart at some point in their life. A rupture is, after all, a momentary wound in the deepest “I.” A fracture that is imprinted in an instant of our life cycle, but that should not, by any means, determine our future. These types of blows, like broken bones, heal, but we must heal ourselves in the best way.

Likewise, that experience of losing something important can occur in many situations and not only in love situations. Some may have fallen in love with someone who didn’t reciprocate. Others have experienced that this bond was inevitably extinguished and even, why not, it can also break our hearts for the loss of a very dear friendship.

As curious as it may seem to us, there are people who take that wound for a long time. They silently make it their own. There are those who say “no” to falling in love again, because after that lost love there is no longer any point in a new relationship. This and other types of behaviour indicate, without a doubt, that we do not want (or do not know) to heal a broken heart.

So, no matter how much you go through these bad experiences, you can always start from scratch. However, you have to be willing to get it right and take the necessary steps. If we lock ourselves in a band and make sadness our best friend, life lowers its curtains and everything loses momentum, colour, hope.

You have to work on those dull and sick emotions. It is necessary to change the focus, correct thoughts, improve self-esteem to heal a broken heart. It is a delicate task, but one that always brings good results.

 

I’ll never find someone like him

This kind of thinking is universal and totally wrong. If you’ve met people in love who lost what they wanted, or you’ve experienced it firsthand, you’ll see that this phrase is more than recurrent: “I’ll never find someone like it.”

Logically, where there is love is the belief that that person is unique in the whole world, that you will never like anyone else again. It’s a mistake. As time goes by and you get to know new people, you realize that there are many types of people of all kinds and it is possible that you will find someone similar to what you wanted.

No breakup, disappointment, rejection or loss should put an end to our affective hope. No one deserves to be a slave to certain circumstances. More so, adopting these stagnation mindsets breeds frustration and rigid thinking. Let us understand, therefore, that life is change, it is movement, it is learning to take care of what we love, but also to let go of what can no longer be to allow other winds to arrive.

How to Heal a Broken Heart According to Science

The emotional pain of a broken heart is unbearable. We are immobilized, blocked, and unable to think about anything other than the person we love. Now, as curious as it may seem to us, science makes it clear: to deal with a breakup, what you have to do is stop listening to the mind.

• We know that this suggestion is almost impossible to fulfil. However, when we go through a trance of this caliber, we must be clear that the mind and its thoughts can be our worst enemy and this is so for a very specific reason.
• Lucy Brown, a neuroscientist at Einstein Medical University in New York, explains in several of her studies and works that when we are faced with a rupture, loss or rejection, the brain works with other, more primitive neural systems. They are, in fact, very similar to those that make us hungry or thirsty.
• Therefore, it is very difficult to be able to “turn off” that need, that pain imprinted and compulsive in our brain. Hence, the mind feeds on that pain and makes us keep remembering scenes, moments, words…

Now, we can all mitigate that pain; A suffering that the brain interprets as real and equates it to a burn. These tips help heal a broken heart.

1. Heal the self-concept

We know that love fosters our growth, expands us, and enriches us. Therefore, a breakup is above all a direct blow to our self-concept. We can make the mistake of blaming ourselves, projecting disappointment onto ourselves, or seeing ourselves as empty entities without that person by our side.

The emotional scars left by these realities are undoubtedly immense. In fact, as Professor David A. Sbarra, from the Department of Psychology at the University of Arizona, explains in a study, it is common for our self-esteem to be diminished and for us to carry emotions such as sadness and anger for weeks and months.

Therefore, we must heal our identity and our self-concept. We must rebuild our own being and focus all our efforts on ourselves.

2. Zero Contact

It’s important to make the decision to leave memories behind in order to heal a broken heart. To do this, we need to establish zero contact. Do not look at their photos, or leave objects that remind you of the person in sight, or contact them in any way, neither by internet, nor by text, nor telephone, etc.

The phrase “with your hands full you will receive nothing new” is absolutely true. If you keep in touch with your crush, you won’t be able to have eyes for anyone else. That is why he makes the decision to “close the door” and make way for the new that is to come.

3. Avoid places your ex frequents

Seeing it often can cause your wounds to be open for longer than necessary. Avoid places you frequent. Take a different route to work or school. These small inconveniences will help you heal faster.

4. Stay busy

There’s no better medicine than keeping your mind busy, especially if it’s doing things you love. It is forbidden to sit idly by, because inactivity brings frustration. Therefore, even if you don’t have things to do, go out and play sports, occupy your hours by signing up for a course, activity, outing, etc.

 

5. Meet new people

Social relationships bring many rewards. If you meet new people and find the right people with whom you have a feeling and a connection, you will realize that in life you can always start from scratch and the best way is to start with your social relationships.

6. Do things you’ve never done before

Whether you choose to hike, surf, or dance, take some time to do new and exciting things. Enjoy your newfound freedom and independence! Take this time to do all the fun things your partner never wanted or enjoyed doing with you.

7. Take care of yourself

Taking care of yourself is a very important part of healing a heart, to recover from emotional pain. When the heart suffers, we have more stress than necessary, so we must take care of ourselves more than ever, adopting a healthy life in which there is a balanced diet, good rest with stable schedules and regular exercise.

8. Patience and Acceptance

Everything in this life is temporary, and the emotional pain was not going to be less. Keep going on your path even if your heart has been broken, carrying the pain on your back but without stopping walking, with patience, knowing that it is something temporary that will heal with the passing of the days, and acceptance, knowing that life is like that, sometimes it is wonderful, but other times, you have to go through the pain.

9. Don’t deny reality

Trying to block out memories about what we experienced with someone will only make us focus more on those memories. Similarly, denying that we feel bad when it’s obvious that we’re devastated will only cause us to notice a tension that we can’t get out of.

10. Focus on your responsibilities

It’s okay to take some time to grieve during that sad time, but don’t forget your other responsibilities. Keep pushing yourself hard in your career or school. Stay connected and in touch with your family and friends so you don’t lose your essential support group. Get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet.

11. Spend time with your friends

They can help you, comfort you, and clear your mind after having a good time. You don’t have to do anything special in particular. Plan to have a movie night, go to the zoo, go to the beach, or eat at a new restaurant

12. Don’t jump into a “rebound” relationship

You may feel a sense of urgency to find a new romantic partner, but so-called “rebound” relationships will prevent you from getting over your old one. If you don’t take the time to reflect on a relationship that recently ended, you may end up repeating patterns or making the same mistakes in a new one.

13. Seek Help

When we feel very distressed, it is common for us to tend to isolate ourselves and become more lonely. However, this attitude only makes the situation worse. Instead, seek support from loved ones or people you trust. Talk to them about how you feel, cry and vent to them. Your companionship and words of encouragement can be a powerful balm that helps heal a broken heart.

On the other hand, it is also beneficial to go to psychotherapy. In this case, a professional will give you the necessary tools so that you can overcome the grief of the breakup and strengthen your self-esteem.

Beware of masking the pain

 

Many people find themselves unable to face the pain of a broken heart face to face. What they do is fall into alcohol, drugs, lead inadequate lifestyles, eat badly, etc.

All these bad attitudes are nothing more than evasions of reality. In this way, the pain will not heal, but will be masked and self-destruct little by little. Not only will you continue with the emotional pain, but you will also have added more problems that will damage your health.

The smartest way to heal a broken heart is to face emotional pain. Taking care of yourself, accepting, opening new doors and letting the pain weaken as the days go by.

In addition, those who manage to heal a broken heart in a resilient way and accepting that negative situation, will have acquired tools and learning, which will contribute to their personal development and emotional reinforcement.

Everything can have a positive reading, even the most painful of breakups can teach us many things. However, it will take time for us to reflect and distance ourselves from the pain it has caused us. But, be patient. In the end, experiences are at the foundation of our learning and that is what differentiates us from one another.